


before he left

by klantic



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bellamy Blake Loves Clarke Griffin, In which Clarke actually spits it out, POV Bellamy Blake, Season 4 small divergences
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:46:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27790963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/klantic/pseuds/klantic
Summary: “I’ve got you for that,” he said weakly. She stared at him and he at her, baring their souls to the other as the world around them crumbled.In which *things* actually freakin happen before lift-off and these two aren't complete idiots.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 67





	before he left

**Author's Note:**

> I watched that 50 minute YouTube video today (you know the one) and full on sobbed at the fact that season 7 exists and did that. Existentially, I don't accept that Clarke, Bellamy, and Madi never reunite. Like ever. Critically, that season was shitty writing.
> 
> Anyway, writing this and a few other short pieces really helped get it all off my chest. I know a ton of this is very close to cannon. Some of their little speeches I had memorized, some of them might be a little off. I don't really care. I'm not really worried about accuracy. Like I said, this was written purely for cathartic reasons.

“Clarke,” said Bellamy, swallowing thickly and turning towards her. She felt the air change and her eyes shifted to him - because of course she did. Of course she knew he was about to say something important. That’s why he had to say it. “If I don’t see you again…”

Her eyebrows were instantly furrowed in determination and an emotion he couldn’t name. “You will. We will see each other again, Bellamy. We have to believe that.” He frowned, but nodded.

“Live for me, okay Princess?” Her chin ducked slightly, blue eyes never swaying from his. “And when I see you again, we’ll talk.” His lips tilted up and she mirrored him, eyes shining. The waves crashed against the shore at their feet, jolting both from the stasis that had enveloped them and reminding them of the task at hand. Clarke sighed, gaze returning to the water.

“I’ll hold you to it.” 

* * *

The next time Bellamy saw Clarke, his sister was about to enter a fight for her - and Skaikru’s - life. There wasn’t enough time to reunite other than a quick hug and head nod in acknowledgement of the other’s pain. She looked paler than he remembered her being. There was no longer a pink flush to her cheeks and the crescent moons beneath her eyes seemed darker in contrast. When was the last time she’d slept?

Octavia entered the makeshift arena and all thoughts of Clarke were shoved to the back of his mind. She’d convinced him to stay with O, despite the disagreements between the two siblings. 

_“You’re her brother. Not being there would be worse than anything you can say.”_

So he went. He gave Octavia advice because deep talks about their relationship weren’t for when they were just trying to survive the next few minutes, let alone hours. She’d nodded, eyes meeting his with something other than hatred for the first time in months. He made a mental note to thank Clarke.

* * *

His reunion with his best friend wasn’t as heartfelt as he’d have liked. He felt utterly helpless at Clarke’s feet, staring up into the face he had memorized in his sleep as his vision faded to darkness. His heart chipped in several places that night. Thinking about Octavia, alone outside the bunker door except for an army of angry Grounders, nicked one part. And Clarke, the person he had trusted to know him and his desires and to carry those out, had betrayed him. Had locked him up. Had left his sister to the mercy of the radiation.

And so he did what he did best - he screamed and roared and yanked at the chains around his fists until he couldn’t feel his fingers. Blood covered his forearms from the strain, but he could care less. The world was ending and his sister with it.

Distantly, he heard low voices and the click of the door opening. Murphy stepped around the corner, wary. His eyes widened at the bloody sight before him.

“Bellamy,” he choked, “stop, man! You’re hurting yourself!”

“I DON’T CARE,” Bellamy spat back, tugging harder on the chains. He knew he looked insane. He just didn’t give a shit. “MY SISTER IS DYING. SH-SHE’S UP THERE. I LEFT HER. I left her…” he sobbed. Murphy started to move toward him, then seemed to think better.

“I’m sorry.” Bellamy scoffed wetly.

“Murphy,” he begged, “please. It’s Octavia. You have to help me open the door.” Murphy stepped back, face back to its unfeeling mask. 

“I can’t. Emori and I - we’re safe. I can’t help you. I’m sorry.” He turned to leave and Bellamy’s mind went white with rage.

“MURPHY!” Murphy opened the door and took one last look at Bellamy, who was straining at his bonds again. “MURPHY I SWEAR TO GOD. MURPHY PLEASE. IT’S OCTAVIA. MURPHY!” The door clicked shut.

* * *

It was Clarke’s mother who released him. Much later. A terrifying amount of time later. But it had to be enough. 

“There are two doors we need to unlock to open the bunker,” she said quickly, unlocking his chains. “I’ll open both from admin. You’ll have to help me with Jaha.” He swallowed and focused on Abby’s face. He winced at the likeness of the woman who’d locked him up. 

Jaha was down. They had minutes before Clarke realized anything was wrong. Bellamy waited by the first door, panting from the exertion of taking down the old chancellor. He looked around and immediately wished he hadn’t. Clarke was sprinting toward him, a determined look plastered on her face. 

A beep and release of air signaled that the first door was open. Bellamy moved fast, shoving through the opening and reaching for the stairs. His hand was on the railing. Meters separated him and Octavia. His heart drummed in his chest as his hand reached for the hatch -

“BELLAMY STOP!” His hand froze and he pulled it slowly back, turning his body to face his best friend. Clarke had tears streaming down her face but clenched her teeth. Her whole body was shaking, right down to the pistol she held in her hand - the barrol of which was pointing straight at him.

“Clarke, I have to open the door.”

“I can’t let you do that,” her lips quivered. 

“It’s _Octavia_ , Clarke! You can’t expect me to-”

“This isn’t about Octavia! It’s about the _entire human race_! Don’t you get it? If you open that door, you’re killing humanity.”

“Clarke,” Bellamy pleaded, “this isn’t pulling the lever at Mount Weather or saving the world from ALIE! We knew what was going to happen when we made those choices. This is different - we have no idea what’s on the other side of that door!” They were wasting time arguing and Bellamy had had enough. 

He reached for the hatch but yanked back at the sound of a bullet. He spun around, eyes wide. Clarke was panting now, gun smoking in her shaking hand.

“Clarke, what are you doing?” His voice was even, cautious. _She’s not going to shoot me._

“I can’t let that door open.”

“We don’t know-”

“I know that the human race will survive if that door stays shut!” She was begging now. Dark eyes met blue in a standoff.

“If you’re going to shoot me, you better make it a kill shot. Because there’s no way I’m going to stop fighting until I open that door.” He held her stare, deer in the headlights. Only their heartbeats and Clarke’s heavy breathing filled the space. She clenched her jaw tighter, muscles tightening in her arm. Bellamy did not break her gaze.

“I love her, Clarke. She’s my sister.” She let out a small groan. “But I need you too. Please don’t do this.”

Clarke broke, lowering the gun with a sob. Bellamy opened the door.

* * *

The front seat of the rover was thick with tension as Bellamy drove them toward Raven. He could feel Clarke’s gaze on him. He ignored it.

“Bellamy,” she murmured. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to do.”

“Clarke-”

“No, let me say it. You were right. It wasn’t like Mount Weather. I was just…”

“Thinking logically?” She huffed a laugh.

“Every time I make a decision, someone dies.”

He smirked, “Well I think you made one right decision when you decided not to shoot me.” He peered over in time to see her grin sadly.

They drove on. 

* * *

Her helmet was off. _Of course,_ Clarke’s fucking helmet was off. She heaved black blood into the ashy snow. _Dammit Clarke._

“Quick! Get her in this suit!” Monty rushed over from his and Harper’s rover, a bundle of black in his arms. Clarke changed as quickly as she could, Bellamy helping where he could. He breathed a sigh of relief when she twisted the helmet into place. 

“Let’s go!” He shouted over the howling wind. 

* * *

“Only choice,” Clarke turned away from Raven and the rocket and looked up at him. The nightblood made her skin look sallow. “Also an oxymoron, by the way.”

“So is cold sweat,” he muttered, reaching his thumb up to push a damp strand of hair from her face. He grazed her cheek and her eyes fluttered. She frowned and he got the sense that she’d remembered the whole end of the world thing. “It’s not over.”

“My mom had a vision of me dying,” she paused. “If anything happens to me…”

“ _Nothing_ is happening to you.” He stalked back into the radio room, trying to distract himself with something, anything. There wasn’t a world where she didn’t exist. There couldn’t be. 

“No, Bellamy, you have to let me say this,” she’d followed him. He heaved out a sigh and looked at her. She took it as permission to continue. “We’ve been through a lot together, you and I. I didn’t like you at first, that’s no secret.” They both chuckled humorlessly at that. Bellamy nodded for her to continue. “You’ve got such a big heart, Bellamy…”

“Clarke…” He couldn’t let her say it. Not now. It felt too much like a goodbye. 

“People follow you. You inspire them. Because of this,” his chest warmed where her hand rested. He hoped she couldn’t feel the rapid beating of his heart. “But the only way we’re going to survive is if you use this too.” Her hand left his chest and settled on his temple. 

“I’ve got you for that,” he said weakly. She stared at him and he at her, baring their souls to the other as the world around them crumbled.

“If anything happens…” Clarke trailed off, her eyes lowering from his. She closed the small distance between them - he hadn’t realized how close they were to each other - and he felt her lips brush his. The kiss was soft, gentle, a contrast to the usual heaviness between them. Bellamy let himself lean closer, his hands dropping to her hips. It was everything he’d wanted that he hadn’t known he wanted. He knew now, though. He knew he didn’t want to live another day without doing _this._ Without her.

He felt one of her hands stroke his face, the other on his heart. She pulled away. “If anything happens, at least we have this.” She whispered with finality. A few tears escaped down her cheeks. 

Bellamy was speechless. He didn’t know what else to do than pull her into a hug. They clung to each other like it was the last time they ever would - hearts simultaneously beating and breaking at the injustice of it all. He took her in fully, his hands clutching the back of her braid, the smell of earth and blood wafting from her skin, the feeling of her hands clutched behind his back. 

He desperately wished they could stay like this forever. 

Fate had other plans.

* * *

“Hurry.”

A heartbeat. “You too.”

Clarke never made it back.

**Author's Note:**

> "Alternate" is a series of one-shots that diverge from The 100 cannon. All include Bellamy and Clarke falling in love. More to come.


End file.
